The
Parent and Child Relationship
By:
Hanif Mohamed
Introduction: I was asked to deliver a speech to the
youth at my father’s church. Alhamdulillah, I was raised as a
Christian and reverted back to Islam in 1991. I felt like this
was a good opportunity to show Christians that we are well
versed with the Bible and that we all share the same concerns.
Insha' Allah for Muslims that don’t know anything about the
Bible or Christian teachings this will be a good place to show
how The Bible and The Qur’an agrees on the subject of the parent
and child relationship. This is only one subject where we agree
and there are many more. This speech was addressed to Christians
but its message is universal. Insha' Allah, it will be well
received by all.
The parent and
child relationship is a very important relationship. It is a
relationship that each and everyone us have. Today I will be
talking about three verses that show us how this relationship
should be. The first verse is, “train a child in the way that he
should go, and when he is older he will not depart” (H.B.
Proverbs 22:6). The second is “honor thy mother and thy father
so that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy
God giveth thee” (H.B. Exodus 20:12). And finally “The Lord has
commanded you to worship only Him and to do good to your
parents. And if either or both of them reach old age with you
say not to them as much as “ugh” nor chide them. And speak kind
words to them, and submit yourselves humbly to them with
compassion, and pray, Oh Lord have mercy on them as they brought
me up when I was little” (H.Q. 17:23-24). These verses share
common themes; they all have commands and promises. If we heed
the command, we will benefit from the promises.
We will begin
with the first verse and it’s command. God says “train a child
in the way that he/ she should go”. God has given us children as
a Trust. Not everyone can have children so they are truly a
blessing to those of us that have them. But this trust is only
given to us for a season. The average person is now living to be
80 years old and we have roughly 18 years to put them on right
guidance. In that short time we must set the foundation because
like a building, if the foundation is good the building is good.
If the foundation is bad the building is bad. We can’t afford to
fail this command because if we do we will end up with a society
full of degenerates. If we fail to train our children don’t
worry, all the undesirable elements will do it for us. The
streets, television, video games, and their peers that are just
as lost as they are will train them for us. To insure the
quality of life we desire for our future we must teach our
children to revere God. We must see that they know the laws and
statutes of God. We have to let them know that even when we’re
not around God is the Seer of all, and nothing goes on outside
of His Knowledge. If we train them, God has promised us that
they will not depart. God has said that, “he is not a man so
that he should lie”, so his promise is true. Our Children may
stray but they will not depart.
The second
verse’s command is directed toward the children. They are told
to “honor thy mother and thy father”. To honor is to pay respect
to and to hold one in high esteem. It is to remember that you
not only represent yourself, but you represent your parents and
your upbringing in all that you do. When you’re out and about
with your friends, in school, at the park or where ever you may
be, you have to hold on to, better yet cling to the teachings
that were given to you by your parents. These teachings will
keep you away from drugs, gangs, lying, cheating, stealing and
any other vices that may be tempting you. Take a look at your
friends that don’t honor the teachings of their parents and see
how their lives turn out. They will more than likely either end
up in and out of jail or they’ll die at a young age. Now here
again God has put a promise with His command. Obey the command,
honor your parents and receive the promise of having a long
life.
The last verse
is full of commands, the first of which is “to worship non but
God”. The next is to “do good to your parents” and this is at
all times. The third command is very special; it truly makes you
reflect on the Mercy of God if you are grateful. This command
says that “if either or both of your parents reach old age with
you…I am here to testify today that I am truly blessed to have
all of my parents here today. My Grandfather has said that when
you have lost your mother you have lost your best friend. Some
people never meet their parents. Some people lose their parents
while they’re young. It is not a given that you will reach old
age with your parents and look how God makes us acknowledge this
fact through this verse. Give God the Praise for the Blessings
He bestows upon men. The command continues and says, “not to
utter ugh towards them”. Notice God is not saying not to argue
with them, nor is he saying not to speak harshly with them, He
goes an extra step and says not to make any sound of discontent
towards them. He continues with “nor to chide them” which is to
scold them. As in asking, “why didn’t you take your medicine?”
in a disrespectful way. But now, the next command informs us on
how we should act towards our parents, it says” speak to them
with kind words and to submissively humble ourselves towards
them with compassion”. Now watch how the Almighty brings
everything together, the final command is for the child to pray,
“oh my Lord have mercy on my parents as that have brought me up
when I was little” (H.B. James 5:16). This is the end of the
verse and some of you may be asking where is the promise to all
these commands listed in this verse. God has said, “The
effectual fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much.”
When you bring up the child in the way he/ she should go, when
you teach them to only worship God, when you teach them to honor
their parents and they comply, you have produced righteous men
and women. When they pray they are your intercessors with the
Almighty. They pray to have your sins forgiven, to improve your
health, to change your financial situation and that prayer does
avail much. What a Loving, Merciful, Wise, Omnipotent and Just
God we serve.
The real beauty
in this parent and child relationship is that we all get to
participate in every facet of the relationship. Even those
without biological children, and children without birth parents
joins in equally. This is so because we are our brothers’
keepers. And we are responsible for one another and our kids
too. The African proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a
child”. That means every adult belongs to every child and every
child belongs to every adult. We first see this world as
children and I remember saying, “I will never treat my kids the
way my Mother treated me”. And I always questioned, “Why did she
make that decision? I wouldn’t have ever made that decision”.
Then we change places and we become the parents and the veils
are removed from our eyes and what comprehended as children as
the real world quickly fades away. It’s only when we experience
life and become parents ourselves that we begin to fully
appreciate why Momma didn’t allow us to do what the neighbor’s
kids were doing. It’s only then that we understand the
decisions, which were sacrifices that had to be made so that we
could have food, water, gas, lights and a roof over our heads. I
find myself periodically calling back to apologize to my parents
for the wrongs that I have done and begging for their
forgiveness for my unfair judgments on them. After we raise our
children, we get to see them come to the same realizations about
life that we did. And the proof in our parenting can only be
truly measured on how well our children raise our grandchildren.
I will now end with the following prayer, “Oh lord forgive our
sins, the sins of our parents and protect us from the fire of
hell. Amen. Thank You.
H.B. denotes Holy
Bible H.Q. denotes Holy Qur’an
If you have any
comments concerning this speech please feel free to direct them
to:
haneefmo@yahoo.com.