Mahdi (af)

 By: Sister Fiddha

Your face, wrapped up in your grandfathers cloak
How I wish to hug you
To comfort you
To belong to you
But distance shouldn't hinder me my master
Your pain
The legacy of history
The accumulation of grief
You mourn for 13
You mourn for Hussain
His sweet face
Covered in blood
Those lips which smiled so cheekily at Muhammad
When he was four
Now decimated
Plundered
Gaping wounds on the skin
That was lovingly kissed by Fatima
The tears from the eyes that were wiped by Fatima
The cheeks that were smelled by Fatima
Torn
Shredded
How I wish I could hold you
And share your pain
Be yours
As you are mine
Hassan cried
And Ali came to him
He asked him why was he crying
He said father if you has seen what I had seen
You would cry.
Oh Hassan
What did you see?
I saw my mother Fatima
After the speech to Abu Bakr walking past Khalid ibn Walid
And Abdul Rahman ibn Auf and they slapped her face
And blood poured from her ears.
Ali began to weep too
He joins you
The family of weepers
The family of crushed tender hearts
Roses whose fragrance was so strong
They perfumes the world
Imbibed into people's skin
Seeping into their blood.
How I wish I could be a part of that family
My blood shed with you my master
This sinners blood
Mixed with your pure blood
This sinner
Becoming human
In dying for you.
How can I let you fight my master
While I don't join you
How can you come
While I walk past you staring in to your face
Not recognising you
You
The man for whom I was supposed to dedicate my life
The man whom I ignored my whole life
My master
My Imam
Hidden
Hidden in my memory
Never to be retrieved
A box of lost property
Inside my head.
I want more than that
To you have I shared my hope
To you have I begun to show the depth of my heart
That this sinner could perhaps one day be like Hur
Reborn by my sacrifice.
Reborn in dying for you.