My Beloved,

By: Fatema Habib

You are so close,
Yet to me, you seem so far.
You love me endlessly,
But I don’t return your infinite love.

Every morning, you eagerly wait to meet me,
But I grumble at the thought of being disturbed out of my sleep.
Perhaps a gentle awakening will soothe my sour mood,
And so you plan to wake me in the most peaceful and tender manner.

You wake me to beautiful birdsongs, the lyrics all praising your greatness.
You placed droplets of glittering dew everywhere, to cool my temper.
You painted the sky with a stunning sunrise,
With streaks of pink, splashes of yellow, shadows of orange, and tinges of blue,
All just to hear me speak to you.

But I complain about the insolent birds and their incessant chatter,
I groan about the chilly weather and the cool breeze,
And I don’t even glance at the masterpiece of colors that you have painted,
Just for me.

I unwillingly speak to you, rushing through every word,
Not meaning anything I say to you.
I quickly finish, and run off to do other worldly things,
As if they are more important than you.

Saddened but still hopeful,
You decide to try again at midday,
To communicate with your best creation.
You eagerly wait for our afternoon appointment,
You thought perhaps I would be more welcoming,
Now that the sleep has left my eyes,
But our appointment seems to have slipped my mind.

You wait, and wait,
Longing to hear from your beloved.
At last after I have finished all that I needed to do, and cant think of anything else,
I remember you.
I remember our appointment, but not with joy.

Again, I rush through, mumbling the words,
As if it’s a burden.
I finish our conversation fast, not the least bit remorseful,
That I have kept you waiting, so patiently.

Again, I’ve hurt you. But again,
Your love and mercy of overflowing,
And you look forward to hearing from me once more.
You wait patiently, counting the hours, the minutes, the seconds,
Until you can hear my voice.

But I don’t care about our next meeting.
The hours fly and I am too tired,
To speak to the one who loves me so dearly.
I skip it completely, deciding that my rest and relaxation is more important.

This time, I’ve hurt you deeply.
You waited so much, to end the day by hearing my voice.
But I didn’t care.
So you decided in you infinite love, as you blanketed me in shimmering moonlight,
To stun me the next morning,
With a more magnificent sunrise,
More lovely birdsongs,
And milder weather,
All just to hear me.

But will I notice?